I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
