I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize