found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
