One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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