handjob tips. give me some.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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