Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
