She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
