He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
