thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My vagina is officially offended.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
