Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
