She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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