Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
