He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
