I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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