We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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