Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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