She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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