nut hugger
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
