Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
