Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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