i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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