So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
