Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
