ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
