so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
