i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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