Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
