I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
