the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
