He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
