i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
