no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
