i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I want a musical about memes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
