I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
