rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
