garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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