so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize