We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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