Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
