haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
