break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
