Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
