Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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