i just wanna soil my oats bro
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
