addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This girl is more easily done than said...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
