bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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