remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You can't special order awesome
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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