38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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