Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
now i know why i became what i already was.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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