I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Randomize
