It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
