he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
