but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
