how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize