that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
