so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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