He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
