i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
