Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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