my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
