I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
