i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
