The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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