We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
