he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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