So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
