At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this will be a night to untag.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
