i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
