Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
