I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
