these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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