So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
