Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
