So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
